Day Twenty-One

Yesterday, a friend of mine called; her husband was out of town and she wanted to know if I would do a "girls night out." I hesitated at first. It was Saturday night. I was supposed to spend it on the couch with a crudite and a Dexter dvd. How could I take my raw life out of the house? After a little internet research, I accepted the invitation. We met at a vegetarian restaurant, but there wasn't a single item on the menu that was completely raw. I had them make me a raw salad, and, hold on to your hats, I ordered a glass of white wine. White wine is the preferred alcoholic drink among raw foodists; its basically "raw," and it doesn't have a lot of alcohol. In just the first few sips, however, I felt the familiar warmth of my good friend: booze. Oh, my dear sweet consort, where have you been for the last three weeks?
So, what I took from this experience, in addition to the mediocre salad and a light buzz,was that I could probably do this; I could subsist, thrive even, on a raw diet. That's how I feel this morning anyway. We will see if I am as steadfast at the end of the thirty days.

Day Twenty

I ran four miles this morning--my longest run since going raw. The first three miles were great. In fact, I was thinking I might get back on some kind of training schedule. However, during the fourth mile and for about thirty minutes after the run, I was really lightheaded. I chowed a bunch of lettuce wraps and some raw nuts and dried apples, and now I feel better. I know there are raw runners out there, but I don't know if I'm one of them.

Day Nineteen

I've started to wonder what I will do when the experiment ends. Should I return to the bleak world of cooked food--a living-food suicide? Or should I keep going down this raw path? This morning, I felt amazing. I woke up around 4:45AM, fifteen minutes before my alarm. I worked out, took a shower and--much to my husband's annoyance--crowed about how fantastic I felt. Is this actually me, or have the raw food gods replaced my cynical spirit with some kind of herbivorous Pollyanna?

Day Seventeen

I've just returned from the ear doctor, and she is not sure if I have Meniere's Disease or a eustation tubes issue. I told her about the diet and that I have not had stuffy ears since going raw; however, my ringing isn't any better--may even be worse. She recommended I see an allergist and encouraged me to keep a food journal. A food journal? I said to her, "Don't you know who I am? You're looking at the inner ear of one Diana Rhea, whose chronicle of her own intestinal intrepidness has been going on for seventeen days now. I would think a woman of science like yourself would stay up-to-date on the latest healing advancements. And what if the allergist doesn't have the answers? What then, leeches?"

Day Sixteen

Today, I did my first sprint workout since I went raw. I did this on some watermelon, a cantaloupe, and a handful of raw nuts. Needless to say, I was wacked out when I finished the workout. Now, I am going to treat myself to some chocolate pudding. Oh don't worry; it's not that tempting dessert Bill Cosby went on and on about. It's an all-raw version made with some ridiculously expensive raw coconut butter.

Day Fifteen

I consumed the following foods today: cantaloupe, watermelon, raw almonds, a banana, dried apples, lots of celery with a tahini-curry concoction. Many raw foodist say that they don't crave cooked food after awhile. They no longer long for a thick, medium-well burger, with a few slices of crispy bacon, slathered in mayonnaise accompanied by a huge basket of curly fries...perhaps they're lying.

Day Fourteen

I must admit it; I had two bites of cooked food yesterday. I'm not sure how it happened. I was in the middle of an allergic reaction. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I scooped up a small piece of chicken from my son's plate. Then, I had a bite of lo mein from my daughter's. This happened on the same day I was bragging about my strict regimen. ugh. Oh well, it is time to get back on the raw horse and giddy up.

Day Thirteen

Yesterday, I shirked my blogging duties; I felt like crap--so crappy that I left my yoga class before it was over. I've never done that before. I was nauseous and afraid that I might barf-aste all over my yoga mat and possibly the heavy breather who practiced beside me. But today, is a new raw day.

I weighed myself on day one, and I am not going to weigh myself again until I have completed the thirty days. I think that I have lost weight, but it's the uncertainty that keeps me honest. I have made lunches for my kids without licking the peanut butter knife. I have cooked pizzas without picking at the peperoni, and, an ever truer test of my tenacity, I haven't had a single cocktail in more than two weeks.

Day Eleven

I have had two days with very little sleep--about five hours for both nights combined. The only caffeine I have consumed was in my morning green tea. Yes, I am tired; however, I definitely do not feel as drained as I normally would during one of these stints of insomnia. Nevertheless, my ears are still a ringin', even louder than normal.Come on raw food. You've got nineteen days to annihilate the buzz.

Day Ten

I feel like I have to eat a lot of food to keep going. Today I had grapes for breakfast. For lunch, I had some more grapes and some raw almonds. For a snack, I had dehydrated apples, apricots and raw peanuts. And for dinner, I ate a ridiculous amount of spinach with onions, nuts, and dried cranberries. My jaw is tired from chewing. I may have to switch to smoothies, just suck back my sustenance.

Day 9

I must say, I was tempted today. I was tired. I was grouchy, and after a day of work, I went looking for a little comfort food. I decided on an avocado with salsa and a little raw cheese. So, the raw experiment continues.

Day 8

Still raw, after all these days. I feel great, actually. It's really surprising when I consider that I left my house at 6:30AM and returned at 8:00PM, without a single quarter spent in the vending machine. Could it be that I have finally ended my long love affair with Cheetos?

Day Seven

The ebb and flow of my energy is the most difficult part of this experiment. One morning I wake and feel like that comic book hottie, Wonder Woman, sans the cleavage and magic wrist bands. The next morning I am completely drained, as if someone slipped some kryptonite into my cabbage. I suppose I am still in the detox phase. Perhaps my energy will stabilize in another week.

Day Six

I feel fabulous. Sure, it could have something to do with the fact that it is Saturday and I slept for nine hours, but maybe, just maybe, it's the raw-food bonanza. Maybe I'm starting to get some of that living energy the raw foodist rave about. I wonder if I'm glowing. I should wake up my husband right now and see if he notices a certain radiance about me. His reaction will surely be just what I'm looking for...like that of a 1950s' drama; he will sweep me into his arms,in a Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn embrace and whisper, "Yes, darling. You look positively marvelous, so glad you finally purged all of that unwanted fecal matter."

Day Five

"Don't believe what you read:
The odds are no odder than before."
taken from "Perfect Vertigo"

Whirling all morning, I began to doubt the effectiveness of this diet. Yes, I know it is only day five, but my ears left me feeling as though I'd had a pitcher of margaritas. Normally, I would roll with it--enjoy the cheap buzz--but today I felt anxious, worried I might suddenly topple out of my chair.

After a lunch of clementines and raw peanuts, I seemed to feel better. I suppose it could have been low blood sugar;however, the feeling was reminiscent of my days just before the steroid trial.

Day Four

I'm exhausted. I've been incredibly busy today and have only eaten a half of cantaloupe, a handful of cranberries, and a bowl of coleslaw. I must drag my body to the kitchen and chop up something for dinner.

Day Three

"Evacuate. Evacuate. Evacuate." I woke to this cheer, gurgling from my bowels. I darted to the bathroom and bid farewell to yesterday's nuts and berries---ahhhh post-potty bliss.
My ears ache a bit today. Perhaps it's the detox or the half of Ambien I took before I went to bed. I'm going to try to go without Ambien for the remainder of the 30 days. Maybe I will write a screenplay about the experience; I'll call it "Sleepless in the Shitter."
Yours truly,
Diana Rhea

Day Two

Mixed greens, tomatoes, one banana, one clementine, several cherries, olive oil, vinegar, raw cashews, raw hazel nuts, and green lemonade--that's what I consumed yesterday. So, where is the cleanse? Where is the mad dash to the toilet...the great bowel blast one would expect from such a raw regimen? My fingers are as swollen as from a night of dirty martinis. My belly has a Thanksgiving day distension. I'm Diana Rhea for goodness sake, not Connie Stapia.

Day One

As I write, the gurgle of green lemonade seems to be at work on last night's last indulgence of cooked food: meat-lovers' pizza and a chocolate chip cookie, fabulous fare to end the day. The green lemonade consists of a lemon, an apple, some kale and celery. Okay living food, let's see you boot the deliciously greasy peperoni. Are you truly a match for the mountains of mozzarella or the milk chocolate chips of that perfectly baked cookie? And are those foods which sweltered in my oven really to blame for my ringing ears? The adventure begins.

ringing and cooking

It's ringing. It's constant. And I have been living with it for the last 10 yrs. At night, I mask it with a whining fan. By day, it crescendos. I strain to hear my colleagues' mumblings. I take pills, pills that require the pharmacist scrutiny. My driver's license is entered into a data base, but it's not crystal meth I'm looking to create; it's silence.


I read several raw food blogs, and the raw foodist have one thing in common: they're all blissed out on the rarest of rare--thin, beautiful people whose glowing skin resembles that of a Maybelline ad.
Moreover, some report amazing medical miracles. Allergies, asthma, and diabetes all seem to disappear with a steady diet of kale and carrot sticks. So, maybe this could be the answer to my long battle with tinnitus. On Monday, I will begin the experiment: raw vs. ringing. For 30 days, I will stick to a strict all-raw diet with the hopes that I might, quite literally, flush out the buzzing.