A preface to the upcoming intestinal adventure

Some of you may remember my foray into raw food living. In hopes of curing my Meniere's disease, I spent nearly thirty days eating nothing but raw food. The ringing was greatly improved but far from cured. I'd also hoped to lose weight. I did, but it was only a meager six pounds. It turns out a single raw almond has nineteen calories. Do you know how many almonds I had to eat to feel satisfied...the caloric equivalent of a double cheese burger. I suppose I should have been grateful for the six pounds.
So, my last five months have been a half-assed attempt at a semi-raw diet. I eat a salad nearly every day, a piece of fruit and then lots of other crap that is often dead, processed, or a combination thereof. Although I have lost an additional ten pounds, I have also had the stomach flu, allergies, and all sorts of intestinal issues. Part of me wants to go back to the raw side...to put down my fried-chicken-martini-pizza-laden light saber and embrace the raw force cleanse. But the convivial side of me, the one who craves a chilled glass of Absolute with just a splash of vermouth and extra olives, that girl wants to hold on to all of my debilitating habits, to seek enlightenment through excess: a true Epicurean. So, after much deliberation I have decided on a compromise I'm calling "vodka and veggies." For the next 100 days, I pledge to eat only fruits, veggies --both cooked and raw to add variety--protein shakes, an occasional nut, white wine, and, of course, my dear friend:vodka. Please join me on this sojourn, a boozehound-vegan accord.